Article

 Anyone? Anyone? Bueller... Bueller... Bueller...

Who knew, when you signed up for your AP Calculus your senior year, that you'd end up with a celebrity doppelganger of Ben Stein for your teacher? Too bad your last name really is Bueller.

You took AP statistics your junior year and are now taking AP Calculus. The combo will set you up nicely to take the ACT in the spring and will look great on your college applications. But you already know this.

And you know you have to pay attention, focus, and learn. Bust!

What you don't know is that this course will change your life. As you listen to the monotonous tone of your celebrity doppelganger of a teacher you start thinking about your favorite discussion from your AP US History class last year. It was fascinating! Your teacher simply asked, "How many degrees away are you from Kevin Bacon?"

What?? The Flashdance guy?? What does he have to do with anything?

He explained that a theory was once presented that everyone in the acting scene was no more than six degrees away from Kevin Bacon. The class spent an entire period throwing out names of actors and eventually, within 3 movies or less, Kevin Bacon was the end result.

Hmmm...Ferris Bueller was played by Matthew Broderick. Matthew Broderick was in Glory with Denzel Washington. Denzel Washington was in Inside Man with Jodie Foster. Jodie Foster was in Panic Room with Kevin Bacon. Wow! It works! I wonder if there's an algorithm for that...

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller... Bueller... Bueller...

You're still sitting in AP Calculus learning all about derivatives and linear approximation when you hear the dreaded and most feared of all words - words that have struck fear into the hearts of students since the beginning of time: pop quiz.

Of course it can't be that easy, though. If it were any ol' normal pop quiz you'd be the first one handing the completed assignment back to your teacher. But this no ordinary pop quiz. This pop quiz requires only written answers. You have to communicate using well-written sentences, and must explain solutions to problems. EXPLAIN. This isn't a writing class. Oooooh weee...What's up with that? What's up with that? (a la SNL's character Deandre Cole played by Kenan Thompson)

Jump ahead to the spring. You learned your AP Calculus teacher's routine and figured out when to expect a pop quiz. As the year progressed you became confident in your abilities to explain and communicate clearly your answers. You've taken on-line ACT test-prep courses. You're ready.

It's the day of the test. It's you, a student desk, 8 sharpened #2 pencils (you can never be too prepared), a good eraser, and the clock staring you in the face. Ready. Set. Write.

Your topic: truancy among high school students

In true Bueller fashion, you get straight to work on explaining and communicating clearly the pros of truancy...

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller... Bueller... Bueller...